I'm thinking about starting up this blog again. If for nothing other than a place to put some thoughts, to take some time and get things out in the open. Nothing major is going on, nothing epic has happened. Well, aside from the fact that since i've last written, Zach was 5 weeks old and now he's 14 months (and Luke is almost 3). Look at those photos of them! They don't even look like the same kids that I have in my house now.
From now on, I may refer to Luke as Biggs and Zach as Little. Such clever code names we have come up for them!
I feel like I need to realize that having two boys under the age of three is obviously going to be a challange, especially when the younger one has a tonal frequency that is much like an ice pick stabbing me in the brain.
Some days I feel like a bad parent. You know those days? The days where Biggs is constantly beating up Little and no amount of speaking to/yelling at/scolding/taking toys away from will stop it. The days where Little is walking in the hallway and Biggs comes up behind him and full body checks him into a wall. Those days where Little keeps poking at Biggs just to get a reaction, but Little is the louder of the two, so you automatically ask Biggs what happened to make Little cry. It makes me sound like a bad parent. Believe me, I cannot stand when the boys are like this, when Little is just antagonizing the crap out of Biggs and then Biggs pushes Little by the face just to get him to stop poking him. Will boys really be boys? I try to instill the "this is your brother and he's the only one you're ever going to have" and "he loves you so much, we need to teach him how to play nicely with toys" and "please don't scream at your brother, he's not even in the same room as you."
Can someone tell me this will eventually get better? I don't want my kids to grow up to be jerks. No one wants their kid to be a jerk, but right about now, that's how it feels.