Thursday, August 16, 2012


I guess I've been reflecting on some things lately.

I am me. Love me or hate me, at least I know I'm always going to be myself. I may grow and change as new experiences- good and bad- happen, but I'll always be the person I want to be. I won't be fake, I will treat people how they treat me. I don't think that I know everything, but I like to think that if someone needs any advice and if I've been through their situation, I'll give them my honest opinion.

I don't think I'm stating what I want to say correctly.

I've been tired. I've been used. I've been lied to. I've been lied about. I've been there for someone who was never there for me. I've been there for someone who I knew couldn't be there for me. I've helped, I've hugged, I've consoled without any request for the same in return. I've made my experiences sound harder than they were so I didn't sound like my life is perfect.  But you know, life is pretty perfect right now. I know who is there for me now. I know who I want in my life. I know that not everyone will like me. I'm absolutely fine with that. I know I won't like everyone. And I'm A-OK with that too.

Life became like a little game. My life isn't a game anymore. I have this little guy that requires my love, my attention, my complete honesty, 24 hours a day. I want the best for him so why wouldn't I want the best for myself..?

This might sound a little depressing, but I promise that's not my intention. I've just learned a lot in the past few months/years. I've learned what I want and what I don't. I've learned how I want to feel and how I want to be treated. That's pretty much the point of this. A reminder to not get caught up in others' crap, physical or emotional. And I'm not saying that if someone needs me that I won't be there for them, I'm just being selective of who I'll be there for.

On to happier subjects! Lucas has been smiling and giggling sooo much more. It totally lifts my heart every time he does it! It's amazing. And he's already such an outdoor boy. He's also reaching new octaves when he 'talks'. He just yelled at me, very loudly. I'm just enjoying every single moment with him! It's unbelievable that he'll be 8 weeks old on Saturday! He's already grown so much. I just can't wait for him to be able to hold his head up!

That's about all for now.

Oh! Enjoy this little photo that I was talking about!

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